From the Outside Soaking In

I was walking home in the rain last night. It was not as serene as it may sound, absolutely nothing like the pivotal “life makes sense to me now” moment in a romcom. The reality was I had an ingenious idea to throw on a backpack and walk the mile plus to the nearest grocery store for a few items. This is not something I had done before, but thought it was at least worth a try.

Like most trips to the grocery store, I ended up getting more than I came in for. Unlike most trips to the grocery store, I was now lugging my extra items in a backpack that got heavier and heavier by the minute.

And then the rain started. Not cool.

You know that moment when the raindrops first hit the ground? When it smells like warm earth, heavy and rich? That smell should have been when I said “Uh oh”, but instead, I took in a deeper inhale. *That smell.* The smell of rain being born.

Step by step, I kept walking home. But as I walked, I worked hard to notice what was happening. To take it all in.

I noticed the drops that kissed my arms and cheeks, sometimes disappearing behind the leaves of trees on my path.

I felt the backpack straps dig into my shoulders, the pressure lessening when I adjusted the pulls.

I noticed when the rain became heavier. Heavy enough to shoot right past my curls and plunk hard on my scalp.

I noticed that just off in the distance there wasn’t any rain, so how did I get so lucky?

And I noticed the moment I could no longer smell the warm earth, when the temperature dropped and I was left with nothing but wet pavement.

Someone more in tune would have removed her earplugs and taken in the surrounding sounds, or lack thereof. But I was depending on the music’s rhythm to keep me moving forward. Beats that insisted I keep stepping when my brain wanted to stop under a tree and wait it out.

So even though I wasn’t using all of my senses to take in the moment, I was still taking in the moment, and that was HUGE for me. I have struggled with incorporating mindfulness into a regular practice for a long time. I have attempted to use mindfulness apps, both free and paid. I have taken classes, read articles, downloaded mindful moment scripts . . . I have done it all, but without success.

I am familiar with the research. Mindfulness has multiple health benefits, including lowering stress, improving sleep, even assisting in managing a healthy weight. Research shows that teachers that practice mindfulness are more effective, that the impact moves from the practitioner (teacher) to others (the students) in his or her environment. And as an SEL consultant, I have seen the benefits of including mindful practice in SEL implementation. I know all of this. I TEACH all of this. And I still have difficulty implementing a consistent practice myself.

This is why I was thrilled that I took a rainstorm, and turned it into a Mindful Moment. It was a start, proof that I have developed something inside me, something that automatically kicked in helping me grow in a less-than-ideal situation.

I arrived back home drenched, curious about the state of my water logged groceries, and proud of myself for my small step into self-awareness. Who knows? Maybe this was the storm before the calm.