Love Lessons
A few years ago, my five years old son and I attended a Valentine’s Day themed family yoga class offered by a local yoga studio. It was our first time attending a yoga class together, and we probably spent more time laughing than stretching. I was pleasantly surprised when, at the end of the class, we were handed a simple worksheet titled “When Do You Feel Most Loved?”. My son was asked to take a pen and mark the statements that were true for him. Some of his responses I would have guessed correctly (like, “when you surprise me with a treat”) and others taught me something new (“when you volunteer in my class”). What stood out the most were the ones he did not mark, specifically “when you say ‘I love you’” (which I do all the time).
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
As soon as we got home I posted the worksheet on our entry wall corkboard. Reviewing his responses has allowed me to adjust my interactions with him, so I am showing him he is loved in a way he interprets as loving. The activity reminded me of the book 5 Love Languages which my now husband and I read when we became engaged. 5 Love Languages outlines different ways people feel and express love to others and allowed me to better understand myself and him. A double dose of both self-awareness and social awareness wrapped up in one book.
The 5 Love Languages extend past romantic couples and, in fact, can be used to help build relationships in the classroom. This year my son was asked to complete a love language rubric, like the one found here, as a part of the beginning of the year activities. This one activity has many meaningful Social Emotional Learning (SEL) connections:
Helps students identify their own needs and wants (self-awareness)
Provides students with a way to communicate personal boundaries (self-management)
Allows teachers to better understand how to connect with their students (relationship skills)
Through discussion, students learn how they are both similar and different to their classmates without judgment (social awareness)
Prioritizes student voice and advocacy
Social Emotional Learning has connections to all of the best teaching practices and is easily applied to real-world examples. Integrating love language lessons into classrooms touches on both. On this Valentine’s Day, and all of the days afterward, let us decide to provide our students and ourselves with the language and tools to feel and show love as a way to strengthen ourselves and our relationships.
I think back to the worksheet pinned on my corkboard and smile. What a wonderful world this could be.
