To laugh or cry?

My nine-years-old eagerly awaits April Fool’s Day each year. It is like he has full permission to unleash each and every bodily function joke and pun he has for a full 24 hours. 

And having waited 364 days for this occasion, he has quite a collection to share. 

His joy in joke-telling is contagious, leaving our entire family with smiles on our faces. 

As an educator, April Fool’s Day leaves me a bit curious - what is the relationship between humor and Social Emotional Learning (SEL) implementation? And if there is room for joke telling in classrooms that prioritize SEL, where is the line?

There is some research on the benefits of humor on brain development, but if we pan out from the individual and look at the health of the classroom community, I am a little less clear. 

I will take the liberty to state emphatically that jokes at the expense of another should always be off-limits. But, I am a bit biased.

Photo by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash

When I was in 5th grade, my teacher asked me to come to the front of the room and write the spelling word “beautiful” on the chalkboard. 

So I did. 

“B U T I F U L.” 

Almost immediately, the class began laughing. 

Okay, it could have been one person snickering, but to me the entire class was pointing and howling with laughter. 

I was mortified. 

At 46 years of age, I still remember my overwhelming sense of embarrassment. The strong need to fall into a deep hole . . . immediately.

Safety and Inclusion in the Classroom

In our efforts to embrace trauma-informed practices, I have even more difficulty finding space for joke telling. 

How do we maintain a safe, welcoming, inclusive classroom if students feel the need to respond to, or protect themselves from, zingers? 

Even self-effacing comments that a teacher or student may make in an attempt to be funny feel in contradiction to a strong sense of self-awareness. Again, where is the line?

Yet, I cannot deny the deep connection my girlfriends and I have felt after sharing a deep belly laugh. You know, those funny memories you bring up every year that leave everyone in tears? Yeah, those are great. 

It may be that it is not really about the joke, but about the relationship. If you feel close to someone, there is confidence that they are laughing with you, not at you. 

And if, by chance, the joke doesn’t feel so funny, when you are truly close you can always let them know how you feel and trust you will get a retraction and maybe an apology. 

Maybe laughter and trust live hand in hand? The joke is only funny if I can trust your intention. 

I want to live in a world where kids go to schools filled with joy and laughter. 

I just want to make sure we are all in on the joke.